At age 17, during my junior year of high school, I looked around at the same faces I’d seen every day for the last several years, walking the same halls, and saying hello in the same manner they always had, and I thought to myself…“Is this it?”
This was a pivotal moment in my life because that was the day I swore I would do everything in my power to NEVER live the same day twice. I wanted fresh faces, new lands to explore and evolving conversations with friends and loved ones, instead of stagnant chit-chat about how the weather has either made or ruined our days.
A tall order, I know, and for a while I managed to live up to the promise. I’ve made a point to travel often, dive in and engage with new and exciting people as much as possible. It was a few years ago, while in the midst of a camping trip in the South of France, when it dawned on me. Travelling and trying new things are great, but it doesn’t ensure you won’t live the same day twice.
I mean think about it, have you ever been in a relationship where you’ve thought, “Hmmm, this feels familiar, I’ve been here before?” God knows I have. Whether it’s a reoccurring disagreement or proverbial wall of limit you keep hitting, it’s not by chance that it continues to happen. And I’ve found, it will keep happening until you decide to become aware of it, and choose differently when it shows up again.
Once I realized that no matter how many countries I visit, or how many different types of cuisine I try, I’m not truly living each day anew if I manage to keep dating the same incompatible people, or carry the same feelings of resentment I’ve had with my parents since childhood. Becoming aware of this has really transformed my experiences, and allowed me to begin living each day each moment, brand new. Here are three major tips I use to center back into the moment, and live every day brand new.
1.) Stop re-living your past in the present. Ever psyche yourself out before a presentation or a big ask? Ever find yourself curbing your desires or goals based on what you received in the past? If so, stop that! Maybe there was someone in your past, that for a brief moment, made you feel you were unworthy. Since then, you’ve unconsciously carried that feeling and belief into everything you do. Just because they said it doesn’t mean you have to believe them. Besides, IT’S NOT TRUE! Nine times out of ten they were acting out of their own unconscious pain, trying to get rid of it by projecting it onto you. Whether it was a bully on the playground or a viscous ex, forgive them and decide once and for all to LET. IT. GO.
2.) Say Yes…even when it hurts. Breaking through our limits becomes more challenging when we shrink at new opportunity. Opportunities to step out of our comfort zone, swim in the deep end of life, love with a level of intimacy that scares us, or forgive someone who we feel has deeply wronged us. We will constantly be pushed to the end of these metaphoric cliffs until we finally decide to jump. So jump now and jump often. You’ll surprise yourself at what your capable of.
Tweet this: In every situation we always have two choices, step forward into growth or step backwards into safety. Which one will you choose?
3.) Give yourself everything you felt you were deprived of in your childhood. Do you feel you were deprived of something as a child? Whether it’s love and affection, acknowledgement, support or even financial security and stability, whatever you are still holding onto from the past is limiting you right now in the present. Those things you feel you weren’t given as a child, that you truly needed, you can provide for yourself now. We can never go back in time so it’s up to us to acknowledge that our parents did the best they could with what they had (mentally, emotionally, physically, materially). If it’s support you needed, identify what that looks and feels like for you, and go make it happen. If it’s love and affection you needed, cultivate that feeling of love in how you talk to and treat yourself, and don’t make it the job of those around you. You’ve got to give it to yourself. Now go make your own dreams come true, you have permission!
How do you live each moment, brand new? Share your thoughts with us on Instagram or Twitter with the #kindawesome hashtag.